I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
