so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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