Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
