I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
