Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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