i think my mom watched the whole time
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I intend to get homeless drunk
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
