I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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