Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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