do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
