Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize