just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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