I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
