This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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