Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
