Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
