dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
