I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
