If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
