She's JV to your varsity
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
