Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
