I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize