I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
