Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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