finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
