Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
