Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
