im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
