NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
