fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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