she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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