i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize