It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
