Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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