Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
