you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize