Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
PS: I just woke up from my shower
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
