Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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