Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
