fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Sponge bath it is.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Randomize
