Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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