Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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