:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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