we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs sedatives and a leash
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize