And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
worst night to have a conscience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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