Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize