Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
