I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
