I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
