I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Someone signed my nipple.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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