I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
