This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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