I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
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Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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