Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
