You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
