I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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