I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
