Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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