If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
