Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
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She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
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I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize