I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
