he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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