...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
