It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
found the other keg... it's in the tree
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
