He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
