he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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