I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
